And so we meet again on this virtual forum instead of those lanes where we usually waited for each other for meeting directly at the destination was never our style. From the pre party to the party to the after party and the walk of shame back home, you and I were together. I guess it was only fair that we got lost in this immeasurable distance, I guess it's for the greater good, a learning experience. You know what I say to that sort of bullshit ? Screw the fucking experience. Who wanted it ? Not me. We were perfectly happy in the world we made for ourselves oblivious to what lay ahead, taking it for granted that we'd always be together. We were family afterall. What could separate us ? When the inevitable drew closer, we closed our eyes and pretended it was a lie, convinced ourselves it wouldn't be so bad and that time would fly. But time my friend is a bitch, and never was on our sides. Time never said, hey enjoy this while it lasts for it won't last forever. Nor did it warn us that the silly moments we spent together would become so precious as to haunt us day in and day out. The bitch time did not so much as give a hint that the smiles and shoulders we were accustomed to would become things we crave enough to makes our guts wrench in pain.
In a bullet proof vest
With the windows all closed
I'll be doing my best
& I'll see you soon
In a telescope lens
When all you want is friends,
I'll see you soon..
All my moths lead up to December and do you know how meaningless it is without you ? What do I do with all these ideas that I had for your day? I've shut my brain off completely, so much so that when there are occasions - I draw a blank. I don't want to plan. I don't want to as much as think. Because all of that leads me back to you. And I know this isn't much at all, but this is all I could do Rats. (Sidenote: Special thanks to Sana and Aditi who helped and listened to me get pissed when things weren't moving at the pace that I needed them to). This is what it's come to. Every year I have to find a way to make it special despite my absence, knowing all the while exactly what I would've done just if I were there, just if we were together.
Somethings we don't talk about, better do without
Just hold the smile.
Falling in and out of love, ashamed and proud of,
Together all the while.
You can never say never..
But you know what gets me through right ? It will happen. All of it. All our plans to grow old together will come true. Then we will have our last laugh together. Things, people, the earth itself can change but we never will. Because we sang Delilah to each other for all those years and meant it more than the damn lyricist. I'll spoil your kids and your husband will hate me and you'll reproach me for my horrible taste in guys :P
But we will have the life we knew we would. That's why we're apart. Because we're the one set of friends that can stand the test of time. Nobody is half as awesome.
Our friends will all make fun of us,
And we'll just laugh along because
We know that none of them have felt this way.
Happy Birthday my sister. You're my oldest, closest, dearest friend. You're the reason I believe in best friends. You're the reason behind a lot of my smiles and I hope that today I managed to put a tiny one on your face too. There's nothing that makes me happier than seeing you smile Doll. We are family Doll. And we still have a lot more to do together, a whole fucking bucket list to strike off by the other at her side. Some day far, far away we'll sit and tell our epic stories and nobody will believe them but we'll know that just because it sounds excessive doesn't mean it wasn't absofuckinglutely true.